If you’re going to steal ideas, it might as well be the most popular sportswriter on the interwebs. So I’m stealing Bill Simmons’ Running Diary gimmick and using it. It takes some getting used to. You’ll notice how at parts it’s more play by play then blog, but I got more comfortable as I went along. This is only for the championship side for now, I may add to that as I get further into the tournament and the matches are more exciting and important. You’ll also notice a lot of Iowa focus, although that lessens as we get further in. Let me know what you think!
FIRST OFFICIAL SATURDAY NIGHT RIDE LIVE DIARY: SESSION 1
10:57 – 11: 09: I spent these frantic moments cursing the gods at my stupidity in choosing for the subscripting to NOT be autorenewed. A staggering turn of events for a wrestling fan, I know. The confounded machine also refuse d to allow me to sign up for the subscription again, saying the credit card was invalid. Eventually, I figured out I was putting in the wrong expiration date. The lesson, as always, is that I’m a moron.
11:09: I discover that Penn State and Ohio State have racked up bonus thus far. While Iowa has not because all their best guys are on by and life is unfair.
11:29: Nothing of note has happened since. Grothus on the mat now with 1 seed Mickey Jordan. He’s done an impressive job of stopping Jordan, but he’s going to, you know, need his own offense at some point. Still, some impressive and strong wrestling from Grody Brothus early. I would wonder about Mickey so soon after the morning weigh in, but Brody is cutting a ton, too, so we’ll see. I will say Mickey does look a little worn hear with about 44 seconds left. Jordan gets in deep AGAIN, but somehow Grothus avoid it. I have no idea how. He looked done. OF note, still, no shots from Brody.
11:31: Period ends scoreless, miraculously. Jordan chooses down. Track is telling me that Conaway is mollywhomping Brancale. And just like that Jordan explodes and gets the reversal.
11:32: Grothus escapes. HE’s going to need to score at some point if he wants to win. That’s my expert analysis, BTW. That’s why you guys pay me the big bucks.
11:34: Period 2 ends 2-1 w/ Mickey having the lead and 22 seconds of riding time. Grothus chooses down. And he’s out. Tie match. HEs till needs offensive points. Jordan FINALLY converts on approximately his 140th shot to Grothus’ zero.
11:36: Jordan rides for a bit, then gives up the escape before anything can get dangerous. Grothus tries a couple of things, but never threatens to take Jordan down. An impressive display of defense by Grothus, but the offense was bad. For Jordan…he’s going to have some issues in the quarters, y’all.
11:39: Mr. Rutherford just grabbed an early fall on Langenderfer because he’s Zain Retherford and his opponent was Kyle Langenderfer. With a last name like Langenderfer, he was never a threat. Meanwhile, Tommy Thorn is up 5-0 midway thru his match with Jodeh and Christian Pyles’ boy, Anthony Ashnault just picked up the fall. As a side note, Conaway picked up the MD over Brancale, as if to try to reinforce my point that tournaments are more boring from a team perspective and also cause me to curse the bracket gods.
11:46: No real team implications, but Pantaleo and Dippery are in the midst of a dogfight here on Mat 3. 3-2 going into the first. Wait, Dippery chose top in the second?!?!?! I thought Pantaleo chose bottom. That changes the dynamic. Pantaleo chooses neutral and get a TD, rides out Dippery and that’s all she wrote.
11:52: Nolf-Welch about to get started and Nolf leads 7-0 with 3 minutes left on the 1st period clock. At least that’s my presumption. WHOA! Headlock from Nolf and now he’s trying to pin Welch with his legs! That was crazy looking! Somehow the ref doesn’t call the pin, looked like Welch was stuck. Welch gets in on a shot, but Nolf gets him stretched out and counters. Welch escape and…
11:55: This has to get its own spot. Nolf just hit John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment into a far leg cradle. There’s the pin. Wow. Crazy. He’s so good.
11:57: Iowa’s second match of the day is, of course, Edwin Cooper. Because God forbid they get any of their bonus point machines to get a Round 1 match. And Petrone is in on Coopers leg instantaneously, because someone wants me to have an aneurysm. Cooper counters to a TD, though. He needs to pin this guy for Iowa’s team points situation. He’s 0-8. As I say that, Cooper locks up the cowcatcher and runs him over. There’s the fall! Still going to be too little too late unless some upsets happen. Isn’t it great when tournaments are already over midway through round 1?
12:02: Iowa tied for last place before that Cooper fall, that should vault them into the top 10.
12:04: Isaac Jordan racking up bonus over on Mat 1. I’m really intrigued to see if he can get a match with Dieringer. Meanwhile, Christian Pyles arch nemesis Richie Lewis must have heard what CP wrote about him on the bathroom wall and he’s taking it out on poor Mark Bozzo. As if it isn’t bad enough that he already has to wrestle for Tom Minkel.
12:07. Geno Morelli out here for the Nits against Minnesota’s Brandon Krone. After a lengthy battle in a front headlock position, Morelli converts beautifully to get the TD. Suddenly, the crowd went nuts, but I checked all the mats and nothing came up. Oh SHIT, Ruschell lat dropped I-Mart to his back!!!! I-Mart fights off, still leads 14-7 going into period 2. Insanity!
12:09: I-Mart looks pissed and immediately reverses Ruschell to his back to start the second. He’s up 20-7. Bad stuff may start happening soon. Backpoints upon backpoints for I-Mart and he gets the TF. Pretty great for someone who was on his back 30 seconds ago.
12:11: Patrick Rhoads on the mat for the Hawkeyes, because of course HE couldn’t get the bye. He’s facing Bryce Martin of Indiana who is 17-15. Some bonus would be nice here. Morelli is up 5-2 on Mat 1 in the second period. Rhoads was in once, but Martin got his foot down from the single leg position. Martin with his arms around a leg now, but he’s all stretched out. Stalemate. Then a sloppy scramble session results in no points. Neither of these guys is very good. #Analysis
12:12: Martin chooses down and he’s out quickly. Martin gets in DEEP, but loses his grip, because apparently both guys have the grip strength of cotton candy. Meanwhile, Krone is riding tough on Morelli with a leg in deep, but he’s going to need to actually, you know, turn him, since Morelli is up 5-2 with over 2 minutes of riding time in the 3rd. Steve Rodriguez is up 7-2 on Mat 4 and Austin Wilson is up 2-0 on something called Dean Vettese.
12:16: Morelli wins 6-2 after Krone rode him out the entire period, but never came close to turning him. #strategery Meanwhile, Rhoads got his escape and it’s 1-1 in the 3rd period of a match I was hoping for bonus points in, so that should tell you how I feel. Rhoads can take down Max Rohskoph, but not Bryce Martin. Of course.
12:19: I think Rhoads just won on the pushout stalling point. Sure to inspire the confidence of the crowd with that one. #Lame
12:22: Seems like lots of good action, but all I care about is Metcalf-Gomez right now. Metcalf down 8-0. This is fine, right?!?!?! I mean, Gomez was an NCAA champ, 3 time AA under TOM MINKEL. That equals out to an undefeated 7 time NCAA champ at a competent school, right??!?!?!
12:24: Metcalf down 9-0 late in the second. Whoa, front headlock roll and a TD. Now only down 9-6. Caution and 1 and it’s 9-7 Gomez. Meanwhile…stuff is happening at the Big 10s? I guess? Whatever. I think Nate Jackson is beating Josh Snook if you’re interested.
12:26: Metcalf potential TD is NOT called in the final 15 seconds or so, and he loses. This day sucks in all ways possible thus far. I’m not going to complain about the non-call. He gave up NINE POINTS before that, so that’s on him…
12:33: Ok, I’m recovered from that heartbreaking defeat. I love Metcalf as if he was a family member. I’m here to watch Sammy Brooks. Please make me feel better about wrestling.
12:34: I’ve taken to playing a new game. It’s called “Michigan State or Northwestern”. When they announce a wrestlers name I don’t recognize, I guess which school it belongs to. So far, from 9 wrestlers, there’s only been one person who didn’t belong to either school.
12:35: Meanwhile, Sammy Brooks picked up a questionable fall over Irick. That looked like a touchfall to me. Ah well, I’ll take it. McIntosh from Penn State on the mat to extend Penn State’s lead….errr, I mean wrestle. McIntosh picks up an easy fall. Now Burak is coming to the mat and he needs to match McIntosh. Burak is facing Peissig from Wisconsin, who is a stunning 5-13.
12:41: Burak scores a D about halfway thru period 1, and it’s all going according to plan. Peissig escape and another Burak TD with a rideout. Peissig has one stalling call. Here’s the thing, though: McIntosh’s kid was stalling, too. You need to be able to put this guy on his back and finish this. Burak gives up an escape with little resistance to start the second, and he’s in on another TD. He concedes the escape on the restart, and he’s got his little Russian tie that he wastes time with. You need POINTS, big fell. Another stall on Peissig and a TD for Burak. 9-3 Burak. Concedes the escape again. Burak shot, Peissig looks for a headthrow counter but Burak slips it and grabs another TD. 11-4. He’s going to ride out the period. This is more like it. Now he’ll choose down and look for the big bonus.
12:46: Escape Burak, and a TD for Burak and he’s up 14-4. He concedes the escape and it’s 14-5. He needs to take a look at that lefty headlock he hits. Another stalling on Peissig. 15-5. Whoa, Peissig for some reason, after stalling the whole match, tried to hit some gator bacon and gives up the 4 for the tech! A little lucky for Nathan to get the tech, but still!
12:49: Right now the only notable team wrestler on the mat is Kenny Courts, so I’m going to go grab a drink.
12:53: Jacob Berkowitz: Local Iowa City accountant sponsoring the event or Northwestern 197 lber wrestling Brett Pfarr as I type? See, the game is fun!
12:54: Nick Nevills on the mat for Penn State, a move I’ve questioned since it happened. He’ facing Brock Horwath, a .500 senior from Wisconsin. My first time watching Nevills this year, and man does he look small. Horwath somehow called for stalling with Nevills backing off from the center of the mat to the edge. Horwath is digging unders repeatedly, Nevills yet to fire off a leg attack…or any attack. Nevills gives a weak attempt at a snatch singe, but we’re back to bear dancing. First period ends with no points, but lots of me yawning. Nevills chooses bottom and Horwath is riding tough. Nice return from Horwath.
12:58: Nevills finally gets the escape at 1:09. WHOA! I missed what happened, but a big TD for Horwath. Nevills gets an escape after Horwath has run his RT up to 1:40. Big escape though before the end of the period. Horwath chooses down, and he’s too his feet. Stalling on Nevills for no mat return. Finally does return him. Horwath gets the escape and still has RT. Nevills going to need a TD here.
1:01: Sam Stoll IS taking the mat right now! There he is against Yousiff Hemida, who just cost me a point in Northwestern or Michigan State. Nevills goes DOWN in round 1!!!! Wow, that’s shocking. Stall call on Hemida, no idea how. Stoll just got called for stalling after locking up a bearhug on the edge of the mat. Another stalling call on Hemida. Man, this pushout rule is a JOKE! Sammy gets the upper body lock and Hemida is on his back!!!! Wow, he fights off it. 7-0 Stoll and the crowd was going CRAZY!
1:04: Stoll trying to dig the arm out, but it leads to a Hemida escape. Period ends. Maryland makes the strategic choice to take top and test that knee.
1:05: I’m still stunned Nevills lost to THAT guy. On the whistle, Stoll is to his tripod. He’s standing, and Hemida with the BIG lift and return. Sammy to his credit right back up and he’s out. 8-1. Another pushout stall on Hemida, it’s 10-1. Hemida with a shot, but he’s all stretched out under Big Sammy Stoll, and that ain’t the place to be brother. Sammy locked up again and looking for the TD, but they go WAY OOB. Scoreboard is showing 9-1 again, not sure why.
1:08: Stoll chooses neutral. Stollhouse Cookies looks a little gassed. Hemida with a semi shot and he touches a leg, but nothing doing. Another weak shot by Hemida and Stollhouse spins around for the TD. Escape Hemida. Another counter TD for Stoll. Stoll turns him for t2, looking for the tech, but it gets loose and Hemida gets a reversal. Still a 15-4 MD for the injured Stoll.
1:11: Tomasello about to get started on Mat 3 with Sean McCabe of Rutgers. And then we have a potential barnburner of Gilman and Youtsey.
1:12: Gilman is on the mat. Facemush Truthers change to a different mat so as not to hurt your delicate sensibilities. 2-1 Tomasello VERY quickly on Mat 3. Some sort of delay on Mat 4, so I’m back watching NaTo. Still 2-1. God he’s a little brick shithouse. Mega getting ready on Mat 1 against Jiminez. So we should have the Big 3 going at the same time….if Gilman-Youtsey ever gets started. Tomasello has McCabe in BIG trouble.
1:15: Here we go, the Facemush Express is on Mat 4 and it’s physical quickly. Physical is not something Youtsey is going to have a problem with. Counter TD for Gilman and he’s riding tough. NaTo is up 10-2 and Mega is up 6-1. How did Gilman end up with the hardest Round 2 opponent by far? Did Tim R. Foley draw these brackets?!!?!?!?! TELL ME!!!!Gilman still riding tough and over a minute of RT. Gilman has RT over 2 minutes as he rides out the period. 2-0 Gilman with 2:06 of RT. Youtsey may be being coached by Molinaro, because he just chose down. Instead, Gilman concedes the escape and we’re neutral. Gilman gets a positively McDonough-ian TD by getting stretched out single and pulling it all the way in for the TD. Immediate escape for Youtsey and it’s 4-2.
1:18: Tomasello on the verge of a tech and Mega is leading 7-1. Another Gilman counter where they’re scrambling and Gilman comes out on top. It’s 6-2 and Gilman is going to try to ride out the period. Weird sequence where Youtsey started on bottom, but it was Gilman’s choice. They wrestled a good 6 seconds before the refs caught it. Starting over with Gilman on bottom. Gilman trying to escape. There’s a stalling call on Youtsey and an escape by Gilman. Low single by Gilman and he’s pouring it on. TD for Gilman. Escape by Youtsey and an IMMEDIATE TD by Gilman. 11-4 Gilman with RT. Another counter TD for Gilman and it’s 13-4. Youtsey to the tripod. He doesn’t want to end the match with his face anywhere near the mat for fear of the Mush. Impressive win for Gilman as he grabs a major against Youtsey who wrestled both Joey Dance and Tomasello tough in the last month or so.
1:25: Cory Clark up against the dangerous JDJ and his dreaded double wrist grab. Wow! JDJ hit the only move he has from neutral, but who cares, it worked! This could be trouble for Clark! JDJ has a leg in and Clark is belied out. What a crazy series of wrestling right there by both guys, and Clark somehow comes out for the reversal. Ref calls a stalemate, I think, and Clark rides the period out. That’s huge for Clark. Clark chooses bottom.
1:29: Clark positively EXPLODES from bottom and we’re neutral. Weird as hell scramble, and Clark hits a PETERSON roll! Straight high school!! Ref calls a stalemate but Ryan is challenging. I think he’s looking for the reversal, it looked like JDJ may have had the Merkel position. Ryan Taylor is up 6-4 on Jordan Conaway, but we’re headed to the third, where Conaway thrives.
1:32: Refs are reviewing the position. Call stands. Taylor up 7-4 now. JDJ gets an enormous escape before the period ends. Clark gets in but time is too short. 5-3 going to the third. JDJ chooses neutral. Smartly avoiding the top game of Clark. Taylor beats Conaway 10-5!!! Wow. And Clark with another TD! Clark riding tough and he’s got his arm barred up. Clark rides it out to win 7-3. Huge swing for Iowa in this tournament.
1:37: Former hilariously top-ranked 141 lber Jimmy Gulibon is now on the mat with #1 seed Micah Jordan. These two had a fun match at the Bryce-Jordan Center. Meanwhile Ashnault has a 2-1 lead on old foe Anthony Abidin and Tommy Thorn is losing to Danny Sabatello; Iowa fans are going to want that to change quickly, the loser takes on Brody Grothus, who has beaten Sabatello but lost to Thorn. Jordan chooses down and unlike the BJC match, Jordan escapes instantaneously. Advantage: Jordan.
1:39: Sabatello is now leading 6-2, which…crazy. Mickey Jordan with the slide by, but just loses it. Ashnault is down on the mat in pain. 1-0 in Gulibon-Jordan heading to the third. Gulibon escapes after about 20 seconds, and we’re 1-1 in the third. Jordan in DEEP and Gulibon is fighting as if Cael is holding his family hostage if he doesn’t start winning more matches. Stalemate.
1:42: The next leg Gulibon touches on a shot will be the first one. We just finished SV and now we’re in the rideouts, which, based on the last match, favor Jimmy. Could we see our first big upset? Gulibon bottom first and he’s out like a rocket. He gets in deep late, but no dice. He’s on bottom now and he’s out! 5 seconds RT advantage to Gulibon, which could play a factor later. Jordan in DEEP again, but can’t finish before the rideout period ends.
1:47: In SV Gulibon is in on his first shot of the match, and that looks like a TD to me. Ref just stares at it, and Cael is challenging. Not sure if that’s a great idea. Guy was staring right at it, he’s not going to change his call based on that replay, and you’re giving the big cutter, Jordan, a blow. Meanwhile, Brandon Sorenson is up 2-0 on Cody Burcher, Zain Retherford is committing crimes against Jake Short and Sueflohn is wearing out somebody.
1:49: As predicted, the ref keeps his own call, and we go to RO. Gulibon has 35 seconds of RT, and Jordan has to cut him. No dice, and Jordan loses with Gulibon never being called for stalling. That’s astonishing. I don’t think he got any stall calls against Grothus, either, which is ridiculous.
2:01: T-Shirts goes down to Pantaleo, and he’s looking decidedly Dustin Schlatterish at this point. Sad turn of events. Jason Nolf is up 16-3 after 1, because of course he is. Cooper rode Ryan almost the whole second period, late escape by Ryan and Cooper gets in deep again but can’t get the TD.
2:03: Cooper instant escape and he’s in again, but Ryan counters and we’re neutral. Jake Ryan spent the last 45 seconds trying to push Cooper out of bounds rather than shoot. And that was dumb. Cooper wins on RT.
2:08: My God, wrestling I-Mart looks exhausting. I think Berger would rather be doing anything else. Like literally, anything else, right now.
2:10: Something disgusting happened in Murphy-Lewis, because they’ve been cleaning it up for like 10 minutes. Murphy is taped all over, so I’m guessing some sort of gash.
2:14: I-Mart is not going to be able to wrestle Nolf this way, no matter how brutal. He’s too sloppy right now. Needs to be cleaned up by the Finals tomorrow.
2:16: Myles Martin just hit one of the most picture-perfect double leg to single leg to finish chain wrestling TDs you’ll ever see to lead The Nickal Slayer, Nate Jackson, 2-0.
2:19: I move more when I sleep than Bo Jordan is moving on bottom against Geno Morelli right now. He leads 2-1 in the second.
2:19: Man, Steven Rodriguez is just a CONSTANT buzz saw. That must be annoying. I’d be like “can’t you just stop shooting so we can both take a little break?”
2:23: Man, 165 lb Bo Jordan is LAME.
2:24: I just saw the rarest of creatures, an Alex Meyer first period shot.
2:24: Alex Meyer is up 6-0 in the second period. If he doesn’t get a bonus point in this match….
2:29: It’s 8-0 Meyer in the third with RT, and Wanzek chose neutral for some reason. I swear to God Alex Meyer if you don’t get bonus points in this match……
2:32: FAITH AND BEGORAH ALEX MEYER GOT A TECH!!! Do you believe in miracles? YES!
2:32: Brooks vs. Courts in a match between a guy who people expect a lot from and he’s come up short a lot and a guy who people expect nothing of, and he’s an All American! Kenny Courts already has two stalling calls for going out of bounds, which is hilariously Kenny Court-ish.
2:36: Somebody tell Sammy Brooks that thing Kenny Courts just did where he grabbed a leg, Brooks is allowed to do that, too.
2:40: And the match ends exactly in the most Kenny Courts-ish way, with him looking like an extra in the Walking Dead as Brooks stalks him.
2:48: Stoll got abused early and could never bounce back. Clearly hindered, but he can wrestle. Burak had it rough early, but came back to win over Martin in a pretty boring match.
2:50: It’s hilarious to watch tiny looking Kyle Snyder touch these big boys legs and they fall over. Only one man in this tournament can go with him, and that’s Coon.
3:00: We’re into the wrestlebacks, so I’m going to just sit back and enjoy these for now. No Diary. Big team implications, it looks like Nevills is going to have to beat Garrett Goldman, Brooks Black and then probably injured Sam Stoll to qualify. Stoll has to beat the winner of Black/Nevills (presuming Nevills beats Goldman) to autoqualify, though he looks like he’s in a good place to get a wildcard if needed. Grothus is in trouble, as he has to beat Thorn to even have a shot at qualifying.
Saturday Night Ride 
That was hilarious. Nice work.
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Excellent. Can’t wait to read all the Hawkeye V’s after the semis… 🙂
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Great job!
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